If You Braid My Hair, You’re Being Intimate With Me

Adebukola Ajao
2 min readMar 18, 2016


Black girls we’ve all been here before! Sitting smack dab in the center of the universe while a master artist turns our manes into glorious braids, twists, or locs. Black girls don’t give each other enough credit for the magic that we create. It’s the magic that turns heads, that cures self doubt and lack of confidence, it’s the magic that saves people from themselves, literally nurturing and giving life to generations of game changing human beings. Sex is believed to be a major way humans transfer energies and how we show each other love. I assure you that getting your hair braided by someone is very much the same.

You see the two sisters here? This is not ordinary hair braiding, this is lovemaking! I nearly cried when I saw this photo. It brought back hilarious memories of sitting between my mothers legs, laying comfortably against the very place that gave me life. I would sit there and be in space cadet mode, sucking my tongue like a baby, thinking the most random-est thoughts until mom dukes popped me in the ear with her comb.

Let’s be real. Isn’t every scalp dig like a pelvic thrust that hurts but feels good at the same damn time? When your hair is laid and you can feel the wind crashing into your scalp, does it not feel like an orgasm creeping up on you?


All I’m saying is there’s a level of intimacy in the act of hairdressing especially braiding. In the Yoruba culture the Ori a.k.a. the head is the center of your being. The philosophical principle underlying the notion of your “crown and glory” is very prominent in how Yoruba parents instill values of pride, dignity, and respect. Blessing one another’s crowns is not only how we communicate our love but it also heals the mind, body, and soul.

My loctician Dolo, she’s just the best! “I love you Lil' lockies” she used to whisper to my locs when they were in the baby stage. I know it seems weird and all but Dolo actually doesn’t care what people think. I personally think she can’t help but show her clients' hair some love. Seriously though, she makes me feel so special when she massages my scalp with warm coconut oil after a deep conditioned wash, making me swallow soapy water from laughing while my head is bent low to wash in a sink old-school style. She makes me feel unstoppable.

I just know there’s we science in hairbraiding. There’s just got to be! What do you think? Comment below!